A roller coaster ride......

Normally, I would say I LOVE roller coasters! What's not to like? You approach the top of a hill s-l-0-w-l-y, anticipating the moment you see that first car go over the hill...You know you'll be pulled along and quickly gain speed...The ride will only get faster and more fun as it continues! In my youth, I'd go to Cedar Point with friends and ride roller coasters all day - nothing but coasters - and have the time of my life. I also wrote a huge paper on it in a travel and tourism class in college. I put together a tour of great amusement parks in the US, which had the BEST coaster rides for the coaster enthusiast in all of us! (Got an A too -VERY original, according to my professor!)

Anyway, I digress. That was then and this is now. The roller coaster ride I've been on in the last two weeks has been emotional. It hasn't been fun at all, like those in my youth. I have been really torn up by the earthquake in Haiti - feeling so blessed to be in Michigan, where we're pretty earthquake and natural disaster free. Yet, my heart aches to read the news from Haiti and see the devastation! To know they are still looking for loved ones, that the death toll is still an estimate at 150,000 lives...well, it kills me. I've been accused at work of being obsessed with it. And, no, I'm not...but I am deeply moved and called to do something. I've joined with a group on facebook called Quakebusters, parent ministry for this group is GLOW (www.glowmi.org) and they've been in Haiti for over 30 years - they've got over 80 employees there, so they know how to have an impact. I'll be helping to raise some funds here. Having this in place makes me feel less hopeless, more hopeful. So - Haiti is one reason I haven't been updating my blog.

Another reason? I found out a friend from college was losing her battle with an aggressive cancer. She's been fighting for over 2 years... and her body just can't do it anymore. I haven't seen her in quite some time, but Laura is an amazing gal- full of faith, life, spirit, a gorgeous smile, enthusiasm and optimism abounding. She became a loving wife and doting mom- and a music teacher who shared an awesome gift with so many. I struggled this week with how this could happen? How can someone with so much going for her be afflicted with this horrible disease? Where is the fairness in life? I love God and I believe in His plans for all of us, yet I can't understand why a mom of 3 kids- a 12 year old 7th grader and 6year old twins in 1st grade - has to face this? What will her family do? I've been chewing on that this week, feeling sad and not shaking it. (Laura did lose her battle last night, January 23, at 920pm.) Rest in peace, girlfriend.

So, all that to explain that I've been MIA from my blog for valid emotional reasons.... yet I have not stopped my training. At times, it feels almost frivolous, like running on a treadmill when people in Haiti are sleeping under makeshift tents... how self absorbed can I get? Or, being worried about my weight or how I look physically when Laura was fighting for her life...how silly...

Yet, I kept training and used the time to pray, listen to worship music, thank God for the body He gave me and the time He gave me here to use it.

Yesterday, I hopped on the treadmill, thinking I'd run a mile or two and call it good. I just did NOT have the 5 mile run in me that I was scheduled for... I was sure of it. Well, as I started, I said I would just run for two and see how I felt. At two, I said I'll go to three. At three, I said I can crank out 12 more minutes, let's go for 4. At 4, I said - HOLY COW! I made it 4 miles without a walk break? Can I make it to 5? Lo and behold, I ran five miles for the first time with out a walk break at any time! I was beyond ecstatic with that accomplishment, as I've always stopped before once or twice to walk, telling myself I just "couldn't" run another second. Well, there's something quite empowering about doing that which one thinks one can not do. It makes me wonder - what else might I accomplish if I only set my mind to it?

Running 5 miles did not change the circumstances in Haiti nor did it save my friend Laura, but it did create a belief for me in myself, that who I am makes a difference and I CAN accomplish the goals I set.

Now I need to embrace that and,literally, run with it. :-)

Blessings to all of you! Thanks for reading!

Angie